6 Tips to Survive A Home Build (and keep your sanity & marriage intact)

Survive a home build? I know, I know — I wanted this, right? Why would I need to ‘survive’ something I prayed for? If you’re thinking that… buckle up. Let me explain.

Building a home is one of the most exciting things you’ll ever do… and one of the most stressful. It’s a mix of dreaming, budgeting, celebrating small wins, and questioning your life choices over paint colors. If you’re in the middle of a build, or about to start, here’s the realistic guide to getting through it with your sanity (and your relationship) still intact!

Before you even break ground, remind yourself: things will go wrong, you will get overwhelmed, and you will absolutely survive it. Truly — it’s all part of the process.

Also, If you’re living with family or in a temporary spot during the build… bless you. It’s humbling, cozy, chaotic, and honestly one of the sweetest parts of the journey looking back. Just embrace it. It’s temporary and it saves your sanity more than you realize! (God Bless my parents for being the best roommates EVER!)

1. Be ready to communicate daily about house decisions

A home build moves fast, which means decisions come at you constantly.. I don't know why, but I didn't quite realize how fast things would move or how fast I needed to make decisions. Probably because my husband is a total gangster and got our house started and finished within a 6 month time span.

He did all the planning and budgeting... I did all the finger pointing and designing 😆. So the questions were constant... the paint, trim, hardware, tile, budget changes, timelines, etc. It does get overwhelming, but I just had to remind myself THIS is what we prayed for!! Put them big girl pants on and let's do this!! (Again my husband is a gangster and put up with way more than I did during this entire process).

2. Know your non-negotiables ahead of time

Before things get chaotic, each person should list their top 2–3 must-haves. That way when compromises come (and they will), you already know what matters most to both of you. For us, we almost gave up our heated tile in our master bathroom. The tile guy was delayed, we had a hard time finding the tile we wanted, we kept getting push backs... But my toasty warm feet every morning are very thankful we did not compromise. :)

3. Expect delays and budget surprises

Something will take longer than planned. Something will cost more than you hoped. Add 10–15% to both your budget and your timeline from the start so you’re not blindsided!

4. Celebrate milestones instead of focusing on the mess

Builds get overwhelming fast. Instead of stressing about what isn’t done, stop and enjoy the progress—framing going up, drywall finished, cabinets installed. Little wins make the process feel lighter. AND TAKE THE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS!! You never know when you may need them : )

Also, don't forget to go on dates... Admittedly, we were (and still are) really bad at planning date nights. With kids and our careers, most times on the weekends we just want to hangout as a family. But it is important to go out just the two of you and NOT talk house stuff.. just trust. 😆

5. Pick your battles

You’re not going to agree on everything... When tension rises, ask yourself, “Will this really matter in six months?” If the answer is no, let it go and save your energy for decisions that do matter. Say it with me "COMPROMISE." 🙌 Luckily, I married a man who literally gave me whatever I wanted, but also we agreed on the majority of it... so I think anyways haha.

6. Remember the big picture

At the end of the day, you’re creating a place your family will grow in and make memories in. The stress is temporary and the reward is long-term!! Patience is the name of the game. If you can practice patience (which you will be forced to at some point haha) you will be just fine.

And don’t forget to actually enjoy it. Walk the house at sunset, daydream in your empty living room, pick out light fixtures on a random Saturday night… These little moments end up being the things you will treasure the most!